Lacie

 Can't sleep.  It's midnight.  I miss my Lacie.
Found out today that she passed away last night.  Gone.  I'm in shock a bit.  Went into my closet and sobbed til I couldn't breath anymore then pulled it together for a while, then I have been bawling off & on all day. I'm sad and sick about it all for her husband and 4 little kids that are left behind.  It's just not right.  But I'm taking a moment to be selfish and be sad myself.  She was my closest friend.  We told each other just about everything.  She loved my kids.  She loved me and accepted everything about me.  We were very different yet very the same.  We met almost 7 years ago when our hubbies were in school together.  Her warmth and kindness and generosity and outgoing personality threw us into instant friendship.  She was easy to be with and so open and honest and loving.  I was pregnant with Savannah when we met and had moved into a new place and she came over to help me unpack and get settled in.  She had only moved in herself a few weeks earlier (so we had just met like the week before) and she had 3 KIDS (one of them was only 3 months old).  I was only pregnant with my first and should have been helping her but she insisted that I needed more help.  Then she lent me all her maternity clothes. She was that way.  Always forgetting herself and her problems... and she had plenty... and giving to others.  Perfect she wasn't, but she was the perfect friend for me.  She got me through hard times and taught me a lot.  And we had lots of fun together.   For a few years we talked almost daily on the phone and hung out often. The last couple of years got a little more crazy as we each had more kids and life in general became busier and we didn't get to do as much.  But we still talked at least weekly,

 usually more.  She made my life more interesting and full.  I think she helped me to be a little less selfish and judgemental.  She loved being a mom so much and helped me enjoy my calling as a mother more.  For a while we would go get Haggermans Turkey Pomodoro sandwiches together almost every week and just let the kids play.  She loved kids.  Loved my kids.  They loved her.  She remembered their birthdays and called them and sometimes got them presents.  She was always fun.  She helped me try new things.  She started this blog for me.  She started my facebook page for me.  She was a big journal writer and I hadn't written in one for a long time.  So she bought me a journal and wrote lovely things in it about me to get me started.  (I have written in it quite often and will even more now).  She and I loved to just hang out and dream.  We'd make big plans for the future.  And the girl knew how to dream big!  It was so much fun designing dream houses and dream trips.  We always wanted to go to New York together.  And to the Oprah Show.... she got me hooked on Oprah.  She tried to help me with my

hopeless fashion sense.  Gave me tips and ideas on my hair (not that you can tell from any of these pictures--that's what she tried to break me out of, my blah ponytails :).  She always used to cook for everyone in pharmacy school.  One of Joey's favorites was her deluxe croissant sandwiches.  She loved having people around.  I liked being with her.  And talking to her.  Her life was anything but dull.  She kept me on my toes.  I used to tell her she was my personal soap opera.  And we'd laugh about it all because otherwise we'd cry.  Poor thing had way more than her share to deal with... I'm happy that she's freed of it now. But what am I going to do without her?